


When I'm Not Around You, It's Like I'm Not With Me

by where_havealltheflowers_gone



Series: Song Inspired Fiction [10]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Break Up, Cuddling & Snuggling, Derek and Stiles are Mates, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Misunderstandings, No Sex, Singer/Songwriter!Stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2013-08-27
Packaged: 2017-12-24 20:31:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/944337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/where_havealltheflowers_gone/pseuds/where_havealltheflowers_gone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles and Derek break off whatever it is they're doing when Stiles picks his career as a performer over being Derek's mate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When I'm Not Around You, It's Like I'm Not With Me

**Author's Note:**

> Song is I Never Told You by Colbie Caillat.  
> It has a good ending, I PROMISE

Stiles throws his hands up and yells, “Thank you!” when he finishes the energetic song. He snaps the microphone in his hand onto the stand and grabs his guitar. He wraps the strap around his shoulders. “Are ya’ll having a good time?” he asks into the mike, laughing at the scream that answers his question. “Good,” he says, “We’re gonna slow it down here a bit.” He plucks at his guitar strings, making sure they’re in tune. “I wrote this song for an ex of mine. Most of my songs are about him, actually, and we went through a lot together. He was my first love, and I still miss him a lot.” 

The crowd responds with an “awe,” and Stiles laughs. “Yeah, I know it’s pretty adorable. Anyway, I wrote this for him because I never told him how much I loved him, and I hope you guys like it.” 

From the audience, Derek curls his claws into the pockets of his leather jacket. 

Stiles strums his guitar, and starts to sing. “I miss those blue eyes, how you’d kiss me at night. I miss the way we sleep, like there’s no sunrise. I like the taste of your smile. I miss the way we breathe.”

 

“Mmm, Derek, stop hogging the blanket,” Stiles groaned, tugging on the comforter that covered he and the werewolf.

“Stop being so cold,” Derek mumbled, but he pushed part of the covering over to the man beside him.

Stiles turned onto his side, curling into Derek’s torso. “We could snuggle. In a really manly way.”

“Snuggling is never manly.”

“Sure it is,” Stiles protested as he nuzzled Derek’s chest with his face, “When you look like you, it is.”

“What does that even mean?” Derek gruffed as he moved his arm so it was resting across Stiles’ back. 

Stiles hummed in the back of his throat as he rubbed his nose on Derek’s neck. “This is nice. Isn’t this nice?”

“It’d be nicer if you’d shut up.” 

“You don’t mean that. Hey, look at me.”

Derek cracked his eyes open and attempted to glare at the man in his arms. “Why?”

“You have pretty eyes.”

“Go to sleep, Stiles.”

“Kiss me first.”

Derek rolled his eyes and stretched his neck down to brush his lips against Stiles’. He pressed into them lightly, keeping the kiss closed-mouth and slow. He broke it off, laying his head back against the pillow. “Sleep.”

Stiles draped his arm over Derek’s chest. “Gladly.” He popped his head up a second later, “Oh, hey! I almost forgot.”

“What?” Derek snapped.

Stiles ducked his head, tracing light patterns over Derek’s skin. “I was just going to say goodnight,” he murmured.

Derek softened. He looked down at Stiles through hooded eyes. He grabbed Stiles’ hand off his chest, bringing it to his mouth so he could kiss Stiles’ knuckles. “M’ sorry,” he mumbled, “goodnight.”

Stiles grinned up at him in such a way that Derek couldn’t help but smile back. 

 

Derek’s flashback makes him miss the chorus of the song. He zones back in as Stiles is turning back to microphone, strumming hard on his guitar. His eyes are screwed shut, his voice full of emotion. 

“I see your blue eyes every time I close mine. You make it hard to see where I belong to. When I’m not around you, it’s like I’m not with me. But I never told you, what I should have said. No, I never told you, I just held it in.” 

 

“We’re mates.”

“And what exactly does that mean?”

“In a cliché type way? It means we’re ‘meant to be.’”

Stiles nodded slowly, letting the information sink in. 

Derek hesitated, “Do you want to be mates?”

“I mean,” Stiles pursed his lips, like he was mulling it over, “Do I have a choice?”

“I’d have to knot you for it to be consecrated.”

Stiles eyebrows shot up. “Consecrated?”

“Set in stone.” 

“Yeah, I know what you meant. Sounds pretty serious.”

“It is. Which is why you have a choice.”

Stiles nodded again. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s a big responsibility, right?”

“I wouldn’t call it responsibility. Commitment, yeah. You don’t have to say yes.”

“If I say no, do you get another mate?”

“It doesn’t work that way.”

“Would I be able to be in another relationship?”

“I suppose so.”

“I still really young, Der. There’s still things I want to do.”

“Such as?”

“My career. My dad still has no clue werewolves even exist. Scott and I have plans to get drunk, get laid in every state.”

“I get that this wasn’t as serious for as it was for me, but-“

“Wait, wait. You think you’re more committed to this than me?”

“I know that it was just a random hook-up for you.”

Stiles faltered. “That’s… That’s what you think this was?” He gestured to himself and Derek. “A ‘random hook-up?’ That I was using you for sex? That I don’t give a shit about you?”

“No, I know we’re friends. I just-“

“Friends?” Stiles sputtered incredulously, “You think that’s how I look at you? Friends who fuck? Really?” He lowered his voice, broke off his gaze, “Derek, I’m- I’m crazy about you. How could you…not know that?”

“I don’t… What do you mean exactly?” 

“I- I just… Actually, you know what? Just forget it. I have a three hour drive to school, and I don’t need this right now.” He bent, grabbing his duffel bag off the floor and turning.

Derek took a step forward. “Stiles, would you just wait a second? We need to talk about-“

The slamming door was his only answer.

 

The music slows as Stiles runs his fingers over his guitar strings gently. “No, I never told you; I just held it in. And now, I miss everything about you. I can’t believe that I still want you after all the things we’ve been through. I miss everything about you, without you. 

The song ends in a beautiful flurry of music and a murmured “thank you” from the singer himself. The cheers make Derek’s ears ring. Stiles grins as he picks up his water bottle from the stool behind him and takes a swig. 

“Thank you so much,” he say a moment later, “That song’s really important to me, so I’m really glad it’s been such a big hit. I can’t express how much I love you guys, and I’m so glad ya’ll came out tonight. I’ll be out front signing things, taking pictures in about twenty minutes. So, I’ll see all of you out there. I love you guys!” 

The noise the audience makes is deafening, and Derek is tempted to clap his hands over his ears to block it out. He moves between people, muttering “excuse me” every so often, and ends up being the first person at Stiles’ table. 

He only has to wait a minute or two before the place is swarmed with teenage girls. It’s only a little while longer and Stiles is sitting at the table, smiling up at said girls. But Derek’s the first person in line. His eyes land on the werewolf, and his smile slips slightly, but stays in place.

“Derek?” he questions, feigning friendliness. 

“Hey, Stiles,” Derek answers.

“What can I do for you?”

“Uh,” Derek struggles to find an answer. The past months watching Stiles perform and become more popular, without Derek by his side, have been hell. Derek aches to reach out and touch his mate- because, no matter what Stiles’ decision was, they’re still mates- but he knows it’s not the place. “You were spectacular.”

Stiles grins, a genuine smile, and taps his fingers on the wood in front of him. “Yeah, thanks. You’re the inspiration for most of it, so. Congratulate yourself, I guess.”

“I didn’t do anything to merit such creativity.”

Stiles chuckles. “Whatever you say, man. Look, we should, uh… Catch up sometime? I miss you.” He pauses, looking embarrassed. “Well, obviously, you know that. You just listened to me sing about you for the last two hours.”

Derek reaches down to lay his hand over Stiles’. He leans close, “And I loved every second of it.” 

Stiles laces their fingers together and gulps as he rakes his eyes over Derek’s face. “These past few months have taught me a lot, Der.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

Stiles brakes off the gaze. “I was wrong. So wrong. I’m so sorry.”

Derek squeezes Stiles’ hand lightly. Someone behind him yells for them to get a move on. “We’ll talk later. Hey, look at me.”

Stiles flicks his eyes upwards, meeting Derek’s with a perplexed look on his face.

Derek leans in, sweeping his lips over Stiles’ ear and causing the younger man to shiver. “You have pretty eyes.”


End file.
